'Wedding Crashers' Most Hilarious Quotes

'Wedding Crashers' Most Hilarious Quotes

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The tagline for the movie Wedding Crashers is "Life's a party. Crash it." The movie deals with the exploits of two men, John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey, who crash weddings hoping to have a good time, drink free alcohol and pick up women. The film has several hilarious moments that make viewers laugh out loud. The following ​Wedding Crasher quotes take you on a journey through this laugh-a-minute comedy.

John Beckwith

  • "What are you doing? It's a game of touch football, every time I look over you're on your ass again."
  • "What are you going to do for an encore? Walk on water?"
  • "You know how they say we only use 10 percent of our brains? I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts."
  • "I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don't even know what that means."
  • "Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either."
  • "We're brothers from New Hampshire. We're venture capitalists."
  • "I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club."

Jeremy Grey

  • "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bull's eye."
  • "Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly pal."
  • "I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein, and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while."
  • "I felt like Jodie Foster in 'The Accused' last night."
  • "I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"
  • "I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a bitch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!"
  • "A friend in need is a pest."
  • "I'm just warming up. Last week I did an exact balloon replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it."
  • "She hasn't returned your phone calls, she hasn't responded to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the goddamn thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you."
  • "I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding. neither are you."

Chazz Reinhold

  • "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
  • "I almost numchucked you; you don't even realize!"
  • "Yeah, her boyfriend just died. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident! What an idiot ."

Mrs. Kroeger

  • "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!"

Todd Cleary

  • "Death, you are my bitch lover."


  • "Would you say you're completely full of shit or just 50 percent?"